An Essential Element of a Winning Speech
Verbal communication is a vital distinguishing characteristic of the human species. Speech is central to human existence. When God wanted to save humanity, He gave us His word. The word that was made flesh became the savior of the world. Without words, we cannot talk to God. Without words, we cannot understand and explore our consciousness. Without words, we cannot fellowship with one another. Words are at the center of humankind’s relationship with God, with their inner selves, and with one another. It is in words that people mostly falter. The Bible ties perfection to the person who never errs in speech (James 1:2). Since words are that determinant, the Bible is not lacking in instructions and directions on how to speak to be pleasing to God, to ourselves, and to our fellow human beings. In this piece, we shall focus on the way to talk in order to build and maintain happy relationships.
The one key listed in the Bible that should undergird a speech that can be acceptable to every person can be found in Colossians 4:6. In that Scripture, the Bible says, "Your speech must always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person" (NASB). The first requirement for crafting an appropriate response to every person is grace-filled speech. Grace is unmerited favor. We approach people as images of God and not according to what we think they deserve. Humans were created in God's image, in His likeness. The devil is jealous of God’s glory in humankind. Since the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, it has been the devil’s singular purpose to corrupt man’s image and denigrate the glory of God over the human being. God gave His son Jesus Christ to reconcile man to the image and likeness of God, which Adam lost in Eden. Jesus came as grace. That same grace is what should guide our perception of every human being we interact with at every point in time.
A grace-filled speech requires us to focus on the goodness that exists in every person at every interaction. In our conversations, we are not blaming, shaming, naming, or complaining, but rather thinking about and focusing on ways to call out the goodness in the person we are interacting with. We do not talk angrily or display impatience in any way in our non-verbal communication. A grace-filled speech is centered on the thought, "I believe in you; I know you can do better; I know you are worth so much," and other such ways of thinking. Every human being we see carries the potential to release God’s glory in any situation. Our task would be to always believe the best in everyone in order to bring out the God in them.
A speech that is seasoned with salt requires us to make the extra effort to make our words palatable. Different cultures value different aspects of verbal communication over others. Yet, some general attributes of speech that will make it palatable, even enjoyable, include our choice of words, our tone of speech, and our body language. In choosing words that will sound sweet to the ears, we will have to make efforts to keep our words upbeat, optimistic, and positive, leaning towards words of hope and encouragement. We will have to learn to even wax poetic when talking, choosing the most flowery language when passing across our thoughts and ideas. Jesus had to use parables in several instances to pass across some really tough messages. He used stories to make sure his audience understood him completely.
Our tone of voice is another way of making our speeches palatable. When we speak with a quiet and calm tone and a meek and gentle countenance, we tend to be able to connect with the deepest, most beautiful, and most Godly part of the other person. The Bible says in Proverbs 15:1 that "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Further down in the same chapter of Proverbs, the Bible refers to a soothing tongue as "a tree of life" (vs. 4). Even leaders who wield so much power and are almost answerable to no one can be brought to submission with a gentle answer.
In an age when people are in too much of a hurry to look the other party in the eye and hold long, winding conversations, we will have to relearn slowness of speech. Speech not delivered in a hurry is winsome. In James 1:19, the Bible says that "...everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." The Bible considers fools more favorably when compared to someone who speaks in haste: "Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them." (Proverbs 29:20). St. Ignatius is credited with having said, "Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so that you may understand the meaning, meetings, and wishes of those who do speak. Thus, you will better know when to speak and when to be silent. For those who do not possess this attribute, it is a virtue that needs to be cultivated through prayer, practice, and the power of the Holy Spirit."
In our non-verbal communication, our body language should portray openness and a willingness to understand other people’s perspectives and welcome their ideas. Part of this is stopping to look people in the eye while they are talking, keeping a slight smile on our face while listening to others, as well as other culturally acceptable ways of showing a loving and deeply respectful demeanor.
Finally, the Bible makes it clear that there may be a need to have different strategies for speaking to different people. Each person we interact with demands a different response. One person might require different response strategies as situations present themselves. Despite these complexities, Scripture notes that graciousness is the way to go to ensure that we give an apt response to each and every person we interact with at every point in time.